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Feb 11, 2015

Complete. - Day 90 NoFap


The journey started out as aiming for a week or perhaps two. Then NoFapWar happened which took me to the new year where I decided to continue until 90 days.

Why? Well I decided I wanted to control my habit and test myself to see if I could do it. One day I just made the choice to do so and from that point I haven't PMO'd. I think one of the keys to succeeding was that I didn't give myself 'one last fap' before I began.

On the way I have:

- Given up Facebook/Twitter for a week which was enlightening.
- Given up Youtube for a week.
- Learned more about Dopamine and how it relates to porn.
- Taken new angles on how I perceive life.
- Held myself higher when I walk down the street.
- Read some fascinating, scary, influential, empowering and painful stories which have encouraged me on my journey.
- Made me more disciplined in more than one areas of my life.
- Shown me a community of great people who are helpful.
- Made me realize how big of a problem porn, masturbation and INTERNET will be in the future.
- Had dreams in the early stages (I like dreams so this was cool).
- Made me a bit more confident in myself.
- Made me try cold showers and practice meditation a bit more.

But it's not been exactly what I had in mind for a perfect journey. I think that it is important that you hear this too.
I have not:
- Had revelations on the way I view everything.
- Been encouraged to let go of masturbation forever.
- Got a girlfriend (I am better at talking to girls though).
- Overhauled my life.
- Become some sort of NoFap guru.
- Understood what I want to do with my life or where I want to go.

These were things that I guess I dreamed would happen. Maybe they could happen if I continue to NoFap for long enough. However, right now, I feel like a dog who has been let off a chain. I'm craving. Big time.

I reckon a lot of people dream those things that I do, so it feels important to mention them.

But possibly the most important gain that's happened in my fapstinence is the amount of time I've spent doing other things. If I'd fapped like I had been before I began I reckon I would have spent about 70-80 hours watching porn or PMO related things. I didn't even realise how much I time I was spending doing other things instead of watching porn until looking back on it now.

I would say making this 90 day journey has been worth it for that alone.

So yeah, I'm proud of achieving 90 days without PMO'ing. Today sort of felt like a special occasion and it kept popping up in my mind throughout the day.
Where do I go next? Not sure really. I don't know if I want to continue this journey or if I want to relapse and control my use of masturbation for a bit. The second option was always the plan.

Anyone who's made 90 days before and then relapsed, I would love to hear stories from on what you did after you hit 90.

Thanks to the whole community - that includes you panic button :)

As always guys, good luck on your journeys :)

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